Jennifer Hoffman, February 14, 2011
I have heard from several mothers whose children are, in their words, ‘breaking their heart’ through their actions, attitudes and words. One mother asked how many ways can her child break her heart and what is she supposed to do while it’s happening? The answer to the question is that our children can break our hearts in as many ways and to the depth that we love them. And what we’re supposed to do is view them with love and detachment, create boundaries to separate ourselves from the pain and know that we will reconnect at some point, when they can honor our love instead of taking advantage of it.
Over the years I have had these kinds of issues with my Indigo children and the first few times were incredibly painful. Then I realized that while their behavior had nothing to do with me, I was the one they hurt the most because they knew that I would always love them. Through my love for them I became the one they could take their anger and frustration out on, knowing that I would still be there when the dust of their anger had settled and they felt like letting their loving energy shine again.
In these cases, though, my boundaries are what helped change their behavior because without becoming angry or frustrated, I simply closed the door on their behavior, refusing to accept anything that was not in alignment with the respect and love that I expected from them, and not reacting to them or their behavior. Once they saw that I would not connect with them through their anger, they withdrew until they were willing to interact with me according to my boundaries.
Your children will break your heart to the extent that you allow them to. But you also have to realize that their behavior is not about you or how they feel about you, it is about themselves, their fear, their discomfort, doubts and insecurities. When you stop reacting you allow detachment to help with the heartbreak and set boundaries that will invite them in, when they can leave their anger and frustration at the door. In the meantime, fill your life with things that bring you joy, find peace in your heart and remember that although they are your children (no matter how old they are) they are still sovereign spiritual beings with their own healing purpose, karma and life path. They will learn more from your boundaries and strength than from your tears and will one day, when they choose to do so, reconnect with you in a loving, respectful way.
Copyright ©2011 by Jennifer Hoffman and Enlightening Life OmniMedia, Inc. This material is protected by US and international copyright now and may be distributed freely in its entirety as long as the author’s name and website, www.urielheals.com are included.
